Warning: Contents Under Pressure

So, I'm reaching the end of my rope stress-wise.

First, my family loses 2 dogs in two weeks to cancer. Except we didn't know it was cancer at first when the first one went. We thought it was some weird auto-immune anemia thing. And then Red's blood count is really low, and Ginger's (my puppy) is starting to drop.

Second, I'm trying to keep up with college. Mom is riding me about transferring to UT Tyler next semester, I'm not doing as well as I'd like/am capable in fencing, my C++ teacher makes me want to jump out the window (he knows his stuff, but the monotone voice is KILLING ME), history isn't sticking, and I hate going to theatre knowing that she won't always be there and I'll have walked halfway across campus for fracking nothing.

She does this all the time too, my fencing teacher. No warning, just note on door "No fencing". And I can't leave to go get 3 more hours of sleep because wait! I have class with her at 11! So I drag my butt up, go over the bridge, and lo and behold...she's not there either.

Third, my mom. Today was my granddad's 90th birthday, and she was all "We should get a cake! You should read him your card!"

"...Mom, he has Alzheimer's. He doesn't understand what the hell I'm saying. That's not my granddad."

"Oh! That's Granddad! You should treat him with dignity and respect."

"No, that's the shell your dad's mind used to inhabit. It's not there any more. And you treat him like a 3-year old, so don't pull this 'dignity' bullshit with me."

I understand she's in denial, but for fuck's sake, wake up and smell the damned roses. He's not coming back. The father you knew is gone. Long gone. And in his place is this shriveled up old person who doesn't even understand what's going on any more. Just because he says Thank You sometimes when you hand him something doesn't mean the lights are on upstairs. It just means you got lucky and something triggered the right response.

And last but certainly not least, the guild. Oh my dear lord, Prophecy. I love them to death, but damn am I getting annoyed lately. Just...some of the things guildies say that come off as absolute whining, plus stuff that can be seen as favoritism as far as picking raids goes...just gah.

Oh, and did I mention that even though I'm an officer, I'm way out of the loop? Apparently 3 people were asked to leave the guild because of different behavior problems. Was I told? Oh no. Why? Fuck if I know. Yeah, I lost two dogs. Doesn't mean you have to compound the problem by leaving me in the dark. Either give me a goddamn job, or take away my officer position, but don't jerk me around like this. If there's an officer meeting going on, great! All the officers should be there, or did that change too and I wasn't informed either? If I'm in a room with Sab? Is it really that hard to send me a private message through Vent and say, "Hey, we're having an officer meeting, mind coming up?"

And then, there's the matter of getting almost snapped at by another officer a few nights ago. I understand you're going through a hard time right now. Hell, I think all of us are. But that does not mean you decide to get snippy with me, because the next time it happens, I may not just shrug it off and be calm and collected. You're Coyote too. You know better than to take out things on other people. It took a lot for me not to bite your head off. If I'm wrong and your problem is with me, then for frack's sake, TALK TO ME! Don't keep bringing up incidents that happened over two weeks ago and touting around like "Look at Telamir! Look at the stuff she does! She's such a nub!" especially in that tone of voice, because I'm not in a joking mood right now, and I felt insulted and harassed when you pulled that shit. Hell, two other people in the Vent channel whispered me to ask me what I'd done to piss you off!

I'm getting really sick and tired of all the shit that's been pulled lately, and it needs to stop.

Ready to roar,
Telamir